Hull Bicycle Polo

Sunday, 19 July 2015

"Mix It Up" Sunday 19th July 2015

Another great session. It's going to be a very interesting last session of the season next week. Well done everyone.

The Results

The Goal Scorers

The Games

HACKERJACK

It was only Young Jack’s third appearance of the season and he managed to hack his way into a very convincing victory. He wasn’t as giggly as normal which most probably helped him to concentrate on his game. It may have been his good ball control, excellent defending and precise passing that got him the victory but it was most probably his new mallet that made the difference. Not just any mallet but a super duper just the right length for the ever growing Jack mallet. Kol “The Statsman” assisted Young Jack with the making of the mallet in the morning and even added an irritating rattling sound to make it more interesting.

Jack soon showed Kol how well his mallet worked by consistently hacking at is bike, ankles, wrist and almost his head. “The Statsman” retired after Jack eventually brought him off his bike. He was later found in “Piss Corner” shaking and spluttering “Don’t hit me any more Mr Jack .... I’ll be a good boy”.

We also had nets last week. Well one net. Richard “Long Mallet” spent all his warm up time preparing a test net on one of the goals. A very impressive job he did too. Unfortunately the first goal of the first game went screaming right into the centre of goal and straight out of the back of the net. Oh we did laugh.

Last week also saw the long awaited return of Paul “Worm”. After a shaky start he soon got back into it and started scoring goals and just generally getting in the way. It’s good to have you back Worm.

Sunday, 12 July 2015

"Mix It Up" Sunday 12th July 2015

A very very very hot session. Well done everyone.

The Results

The Goal Scorers

The Games

Ode to a Rainy Day

When five polo players knocked the ball about,

Down came the rain and washed the players out,

Hid in a van ‘til the sunshine dried up all the rain,

So 5 grown men could play polo once again.

Monday, 6 July 2015

"Mix It Up" Sunday 5th July 2015

Only five of us but an excellent session.

The Results

The Goal Scorers

The Games

Sunday, 5 July 2015

Gandhi, The Goal and Giggles

Last week saw the return of Andy “Gandhi”. The cheeky chap soon showed us that tossing it off at uni can dramatically improve your bicycle polo skills. I don’t think that he fell off at all which is a vast improvement for Andy. After scoring a hat trick in his first game he continued with his excellent form and went on to win the session without losing a single game. Well done “Gandhi” it is good to have you back.

Andy’s victory was overshadowed by another poloist returning to the court after a prolonged absence. Will “Crappy Foot” came back to the court possible to show off his turning skills but more importantly to score the best goal of the session. Kol “The Statsman”, “The One and Only” Mr Roger and Will were 4-2 down against “The Shouty One”, “Gandhi, and “Young Jack”. Disappointed by the score line Mr Roger said “Come on, we can do this” and as he crossed the halfway line he made a quick pass to Kol who made an even quicker pass to Will and then the magic happened. A first time shot from “Crappy Foot” saw the ball fly straight in to the back of the net (We don’t have any nets but you get the idea). It was a cracking goal and also the best passing move of the day. Well done Will.

Now then I think it must be about time that we enforced a “No Giggling” rule on the court. “Young Jack” I’m directing this at you. Nick had to borrow Andy’s bike after his freewheel broke. Now “Young Jack” found the idea of Nick riding Andy’s bike very amusing and started to giggle but after Nick nearly rode straight into the wall shouting “Your brakes don’t f&$%^ng work” Jack fell to pieces. His giggling became so uncontrollable the he could hardly ride his bike and eventually fell off. It was amusing but that was far too much giggling for one person.

It has been arranged for the weather to be a bit cooler today. Hopefully this will stop Richard “Long Mallet” from leaking all over the court again.

Monday, 29 June 2015

"Mix It Up" Sunday 28th June 2015

Today's session saw the return of Andy Gandhi and Will. What a great day.

The Results

The Goal Scorers

The Games

Sunday, 28 June 2015

"=SUM(CH3,CK1,TB3,F0,R3)"

After a week off everyone should be rested, relaxed and all geared up (or down) for a fun afternoon of bicycle polo.

Nobody has needed the break more than Kol “The Statsman”. It just wasn’t his day two weeks ago. Even though he managed to score 11 goals he just didn’t seem to be on any of the winning teams. He also fell off his bike a lot. Later when sitting down to work out the results and expecting that he hadn’t won any games he was pleasantly surprised that he had won a couple and although he had come last he was reasonably pleased. Overly excited he ignored his normal routine of double checking the results and hastily posted them.

Congratulations were soon directed at Dean “Double Dean” Dent who according to “Statsmans” results had come first. Then the comment “Have you counted correctly?” by Dean made “The Statsman” doubt the results and sure enough they were wrong. Not only had Dean not won (he came 2nd) Kol, as he originally suspected, didn’t win any games and with only drawing 2 he managed a miserly 2 points. With a performance of 6.67% this was “The Statsmans” worst ever result. As a punishment for his poor performance and his feeble attempt at statistics, Kol has spent the last two weeks checking and double checking the spreadsheets. He has also been reading the rules again so beware.

The eventual winner of the session was “The Shouty One” with Dean in second and “Sir Long Mallet” in 3rd. There was a lot of falling off two weeks ago. Nick’s were possibly the most impressive. Dean and PC Paul both ended up with bruised gentlemen’s areas. Young Jack did an excellent job of refereeing when he wasn’t asleep and Mr Roger was there too.

Well done everyone.

LET’S PLAY POLO!