Sunday, 14 February 2016

“Rain, Wind, Pedals & Balls”

Last week was a most excellent session indeed even if we did have torrential rain mid session. Sir Richard “Long Mallard” gave it his all to comfortably win the session. It turns out that “his all” was actually quite a lot with a personal performance of 114.81%. (4.81% Contemplation,  5% Observation, 9% Acceleration, 26% Motivation, 28% Facial Hair and 42% Perspiration). Well done Richard a great effort.

In a very hectic and fast paced match Dean “Double Dean” decided to put “The pedal to the metal”. Unfortunately this move was not communicated effectively to his bicycle which decided to put the pedal to his knee. This resulted in Dean hobbling around the court for a long period resembling a scene from Family Guy. Ouch!! Mr Roger soon got jealous of the attention Dean was getting and decided to try and catch a very fast ball using only his private are. Unsurprisingly this did not go too well and Mr Roger continued to play the remainder of the game in goal.

We had lots of excellent shots and goals on the day. Perhaps the most memorable was Kol’s “cracking” shot which literally cracked his mallet head clean off its shaft and sent it flying high across the court. Nobody knows where the ball went.


Kol went on to receive a lot of abuse from his own team mates during the final game of the session. It seemed like they had all forgotten how to pass, shoot, or even ride a bike. After being 2-0 up they soon found themselves 4-3 down. A frustrated Kol gave his team a moral boosting pep talk which went something like this... “Give me the ball. You shambolic set of  c*&@s”.  Kol went on to score the final 2 goals to win the game 5-4.

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