Sunday, 8 December 2013

Mr Roger: Down but not Out

What a disastrous session last week was for Mr Roger. Only winning 1 of his 9 games Mr Roger came in 7th out of 8. He was even beaten by Jen who played her first competitive session  last Sunday. Well done Jen, an excellent 5th place. Mr Roger only just remains at the top of the table with 79 points. Kol is gaining on him with 76 points and Nick is just one point behind Kol on 75. Can Nick or Kol take the top spot this week or will Mr Roger find his form again.

This week the “How Rude” Police have been in action and have enforced a gagging order on Young Jack. He is no longer allowed to say the words “Jaffa Cake” when another player is reading out the teams. A spokesperson from the “How Rude” Police made the following statement, “This is a compromise. The initial request was that Jack should not be allowed to speak, laugh, giggle or generate any noises from his mouth at all during the Polo sessions. We felt this was a bit harsh”. He refused to identify who had made the complaint but, speaking off the record, HBP’s statistician Kol said, “The little •••••• deserves it. Its always Jaffa Cake this and Jaffa Cake that. Its as if that’s all he ••••••• thinks about. He really does get on my •••• at times. One day I will take his Jaffa Cakes and shove them right up his ......”. We had to stop the interview there. 

A request was made by Dean “Double Dean” Dent to get a mention in this weeks Mallard so  here’s a photo that Dean took of a scarf, poo and underwear. Nice composition Mr Dent.

Maybe I’ll mention him again just to fill up this space. It just doesn’t look right with nothing here. This is going to be good. I’ve just thought of something really positive to write about him. Here goes...brace yourselves. Dean was...

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